Reflections on your email, oh pompous ass.

Hi Michael,


I have been thinking a lot about what you said here, and what you didn't say as well...

I just don't feel like summoning the vitriol with which to slay you. That must be personal growth on some level. Up until I heard from you I guess I though I missed you. What I really miss is my confident self.

I have dated some really great and accomplished men - doctor, artist, pilot - all wonderful - none of which I felt was a gift to me from the universe. I have realized though, that it wasn't really about you. It was about me being open to the possibilities - it was my faith and trust and ablility to see what was important - seeing past the flaws and accepting the good. You thought that me wanting to be happy 'in the bubble' was a problem - you just didn't have the insight or vision to see what we had.

There was no way for me to ever even meet your girls. and honestly that was fine. I had no interest in that or them. The drama and lack of boundaries doomed that relationship before it ever started - which was fine as you see now. The fact that my boys didn't care about you was normal in my eyes - they care about ME and wanted me to be happy. There have been a few comments about you since - mostly pointing out to me that you were full of yourself and not there for me....insightful from teenagers.

This email you sent sounds like you are just more full of yourself. As if you had any idea about my life anymore...still trying to be the fixer - the expert on things you have no clue about...In the time since we broke up I have worked my ass off (literally) am almost completely debt free - while paying school tuition x2...am almost back to my 'pre-you' weight, and am close to wanting to open myself up to another person.

I am sorry your new girlfriend didn't work out - I wonder why you felt you had to tell me that, and your other rather 'impolite' comment on how your new sex partners didn't measure up. Of course, I don't find that surprising. 
I have not been so free with myself. The new Michael will not ever be 'My Mike', will never get love poems from me, or be made love to by me. I find it so sad to know that you destroyed us for frivolity...that you couldn't see what was right in front of you.  Yes, Michael, you are a pompous ass, but you were MY pompous ass, and I loved you in spite of you.

PS.  You keep joking about being run over in Colonie.  hmm, I wouldn't go out of my way to run you down, but maybe wouldn't swerve too much to avoid you either HAHA!

Graham at Drew's house

As always, Graham put on a great show, even with 'wine girl' heckling (sometimes ya gotta pace yourself, girly) Anyway, the stunt du jour was Live at Newlands Tavern in it's entirety...
Then he pulled out these:

Silly Thing
Between You and Me
Nothing's Gonna Pull It Apart
The Raid
Don't Ask Me Questions
Gypsy Blood
Not if It Pleases Me
Express Delivery
Back to Schooldays
Soul Shoes
Chain of Fools
Wrapping Paper
Bring Me a Heart Again(debut)
Snow Gun
Head on Straight
Problem Child
Life Gets Better
New York Shuffle
Bad Chardonnay
Temporary Beauty
Black Lincoln Continental
Get Started. Start a Fire.

Bellboy, Mrs Jersey J, and M-the flower girl in attendence...a really nice pic of me and mo - thanks BB!

Richard Russo at NYS Writers Institute

Had the opportunity to see my literary hero, Richard Russo, speak at the Writers Institute. In the afternoon he was on the uptown SUNY campus, doing a question and answer period, and talking about his new book (and signing). In the evening, he was at Page Hall with another author, Lorrie Moore, who I hadn't know before and she was reading from her new book as well. Then they had a joint q & a.

Richard Russo has won the 2002 Pulitzer Prize for his book Empire Falls, but my favorite book of his is Bridge Of Sighs.
I loved this book; I mean I loved everything about this book. Some criticisms of it include that it is far too wordy, but in my view, the picture is painted in such rich detail with all those words. I feel that Russo gives us so much of the reality of life...it isn't all car crashes and wild excitement, but an exploration of the characters and feelings and interaction that make a family, a relationship, a town real.

I had such an epiphany as I read this book...The characters Sarah and Lucy each come to their own realization of Bobby's place in their lives, seeing how much (mental, emotional) energy has always been spent on him, despite not having seen or talked to him in 40 years. When finally Lucy realizes 'How many times, after all, does the same person get to break your heart?'- To me that was such a huge 'lightning bolt' moment.
Some details I admit I missed on the first read, but as I read it again, questions filled in, and I just appreciated the scenes - such as the description, the importance of the picture of Sarah's mother with the cigarette ash....the 'surfing' in the milk truck, finding out that the teenaged Lucy had actually seen Sarah's picture of Bobby through the train window -

Choosing to be happy is not the same as being too gullible to know the truth.

When Richard Russo was speaking about his new book 'That Old Cape Magic' he did say that Bridge of Sighs was so dark and emotionally draining, that he wondered if he had any stories left to tell. Luckily, he found another.

Wine Group at dp

The wine group for October went to dp on Chapel St. - I have been here before, and really like it. The food is good, and they have a great selection of wines. I had a flight, with the grenache blend just delicious.

http://www.dpbrasserie.com/

The Namesake

One of the book clubs for September read "The Namesake" by Jjumpa Lahiri. I had previously seen the movie, which I liked. Of course I enjoyed the book better, but certain scenes from the movie were absolutely spot on from the book. I love when that happens.

Pinhead Susan's

Met a friend here for dinner on the 17th. Couldn't believe how packed it was! Very casual, had burger and a beer. Said 'friend' seemed disappointed that it was not a romanic dinner. I think that ship sailed long ago....

Creative Writing at HVCC

Taking a class on Wednesday evenings, called Creative Writing: short fiction. From that title along with catalog description, one might think it was actually about learning something about writing... What this class is actually about is listening to the professor talk about his own writing career, and the promotion of his new book, which just came out in September..

Here is a hint of how the first class went....2.5 hours talking about his books, and some notes, as follow verbatim:

Plot = a character trying to do something.

A big waste of time AND money. I'm disappointed.

Greg Klyma at the Black Swan

Greg Klyma played every Tuesday in September at the Black Swan Bar in Tivoli, NY. It's about an hour or so from Albany, but a really nice quick drive. Greg played 2 or 3 sets, from about 930 to midnight or so.

Now, Tivoli is a lovely little town, all of about 3 blocks - and is just up the road from Bard College... Well, my college-age life is LONG gone by, and staying out till midnight on a 'school night' especially with an hour ride home is a little crazy, even for me....but I did get out to support him 3 of the 5 nights. It wasn't too crowded...

The Black Swan is a really cool bar; and every week there were dogs in the bar as well....maybe the Che would like to get out there too.

The first week was like having a personal jukebox - He played 'Trust' for me (I totally relate to that song) and also nothing can beat Greg's version of the Talking Heads' Wild Life - that was priceless.

One week he had some friends join him, and THAT seemed like a lot of fun - bring your friends, play songs you like, and even get paid a little....what could be better?

Greg will be doing Tuesdays at the Black Swan again in November.

His "KLYMALIVE" in Buffalo CD just came out in September as well. It is a perfect snapshot of a GK show- ya laugh, ya cry, ya sing along....

H1N1 update, DOH

Went to a back to school update from the Health Dept. on August 26th. Lots of talk about the flu, and initial instructions that anyone with a cough or sore throat or nasal congestion -even without a fever- should not be in school. How crazy is that? Sometimes a cold is just a cold, and is not a pandemic. Since then someone in charge has come to their senses and said that the chances of anyone having the flu without having a fever is very rare. Yes, obviously, since fever of rapid onset is THE hallmark symptom of influenza.
I don't want any epidemic either, but common sense dictates, don't you think?

Bruce at SPAC August 25, 2009

So my sister and I headed up to Saratoga Performing Arts Center to see Bruce. First a few complaints about SPAC, since I only went once last year for the Police show, and brought my snack with me - when did SPAC get so incredibly expensive? what I mean is more like such an stinkin rip off? we got one burger, one chicken tender and 2 sodas for 32 dollars. Wow. I will remember that for next time. Ok so the second comment about SPAC is that it seems so small and crappy after having gone to Bethel Woods earlier in the season - everything is relative I guess.

Ok, now on to Bruce.
What can you say? He was fantastic, as always, and on a beautiful August night under the stars - it was amazing. About a hundred times more enjoyable than the spring show at the TU Center...and Jay Weinberg is tons of energy on the kit.

No Surrender
Badlands
Radio Nowhere
Outlaw Pete
Spirit in the Night
Working on a Dream
Rendezvous
Atlantic City
Johnny 99
Raise Your Hand (Instrumental) while collecting signs
Summertime Blues
Two Hearts
Surprise Surprise
Because the Night


Waiting on a Sunny Day (with this kid he pulled up on stage who remarkably knew the lyrics)
The Promised Land
Racing in the Street
Lonesome Day
The Rising
Born to Run
Rosalita
Girls in their Summer Clothes
Thunder Road
American Land
Bobby Jean
Dancing in the Dark
Hungry Heart.

He had first pulled a teenage girl up on stage to dance with him ala courney cox during Dancing... then a lady a little bit older, like 60....she was hugging and kissing him, it was a riot. Who wouldn't be????

I was really lucky, cause I found the bootleg of it - a great recording. That was one great show.

Back again!

Seems like forever since I've posted....and it has been about 2 months....time has just flown by in a whirlwind. Can't even say what I've been doing! but will post what I remember for posterity's sake.

Factory Girls by Leslie T. Chang

This was the selection for the book group this month. This is absolutely not a book I would ever pick out, and I guess that is one of the great things about a book club - broadening your horizons a little. I ended up really liking this book a lot.

This book was like 2 stories intertwined - the first was just what the name of the book described - factory workers in China, and how the young women leave their rural villages to go work in the cities. It discussed an overview of business, of what the workers do and have to do to get ahead, how these young women change the dynamics of the family when they are the primary breadwinners and also followed some women longitudinally over a few years to see what became of them. I liked this part of the book.

The other story this book told was how the Cultural Revolution affected China and how that affected the author's own family. This part of the book made me realize how much I had forgotten of 9th grade global history and reading The Good Earth, by Pearl S. Buck. I may have to pick that one up....

Went to the Standard for dinner (love those lemon drop martinis), then to see the movie Julie & Julia. It was a nice sweet movie...I liked the way they did the two stories intertwining, and of course Meryl Streep was incredible.

Last night the wine group met at Dale Miller for drinks and some apps...This restaurant has been all the talk on the Table Hopping blog, so when I saw the opportunity I jumped on it....

Started with a glass of Joseph Carr Merlot, which I have had before - (actually I think I started this blog talking about it...) then ordered the trio of small plates:

#1 - champagne poached oysters on lobster/brie fritatta with a "dollop" of caviar

#2 - asian vegetable rolls with dipping sauce and "tempura haricot vert" (battered green beans) and #3 duck confit firecrackers, with pea shoot salad. WOW. very delicious combination of tastes, especially the oyster dish.

I am just going to think of an excuse to go back there for dinner. Actually I may just want one bite of everything on the menu...

Food, Inc.

Saw this movie last night. I can't even tell you. It was disturbing on so many different levels. From the misery inflicted on the animals we eat - cows, pigs, chickens, (horrifying really) to the antibiotics and irradiation that happens so we don't all get Ecoli or some other horrible bacteria....to the actual fact that more and more food is contaminated and the Supreme Court ruled that the food inspectors do not have the POWER to shut down plants that continually have contamination. The fact that you may be taking your life in your hands every time you eat something you don't know where it came from.
That big business owns these huge factory farms, and MONSANTO owns virtually every soybean on the earth, due to their patent on genetically modified soybeans, and heaven help anyone that hasn't bought their seeds, they swoop down with the force of a billion lawyers....nobody can fight that, even if they are in the right... So basically we can't eat beef, chickens, pork, or soybeans. What's left? This movie truly scared me, .. cause you just know it's true.

Graham Parker at Caffe Lena

Graham Parker finally played the hallowed ground that is known as Caffe Lena in Saratoga (the August place to be).

The room holds about 80, and from where I could see, not an empty seat in the house...

Set List as follows:

Hard Side of the Rain

Ambiguous

Problem Child

Guillotine of Guadelupe

Brand New Book

Pollinate

Life Gets Better

New song #1 Belleayre Mountain

New Song #2 Not where u think u are

Devil's Sidewalk

Black Lincoln Continental

Saturday Night is Dead

Love Gets You Twisted

Discovering Japan

Passion is no Ordinary Word

Temporary Beauty

Don't Let it Break You Down

Back In Time

Last Stop is Nowhere

Heat Treatment

This was an incredible show- such an intimate space and almost a brand new audience - only recognized one other person in the audience...

Valleycats game

Michael #2 and I went to the valleycats game the other night. As I said before, Ernie Williams played prior to the game...The game was fairly uneventful, other than 2 outfielder collisions - they must have forgotten to CALL IT - and the best part of the event of the game is when this pig drives up, and throws tshirts to the crowd... I like this little pig. (the other best part is when the condiments race on their mini-bikes. Ketchup won).

Here is the weird, I mean really weird part of the evening... Michael invited his son to meet us at the game.  Hadn't met him before, but have heard about him and his many girlfriends and exploits.  He's about 25. 
WELL, M hadn't mentioned me, in any manner, like that I would be at the game too, so it was totally awkward - who am I, where did we meet, how long have we been 'dating' (we aren't dating, just doing things together).
Michael sat on one side of me, and his son on the other.  They hardly talked at all...OK SO, it is understandable why the son has so many girls...he is really attractive.  Built like the brick-carrying construction worker that he is (huge arms), not handsome in the traditional way, has a Roman nose, but he has this charisma that I was really conscious of...he was chatting me up like he was gonna steal Dad's girl and yes, this kid was HOT...(no, nothing would ever happen). Then he proceeded to get drunk (yes, he was driving) and we all left separately.  WEIRD

Ferrari's

Went with the work folks back to Ferrari's. Very good italian food, good service and the calimari, (which I never really liked too much) is very good here, very light batter to it, not that heavy breading that you get sometimes...

This is the work place to go for any celebration - this time it was to celebrate the new job of one of the secretarys. Hope she enjoys the new digs.

Mexican Radio - Hudson

I finally went to Mexican Radio, the mexican restaurant that won for best in the Metroland before, even though it is almost an hour outside Albany. Annie came up from Westchester, and it was about a halfway point to meet and catch up after all these years. She suggested it, (or I still wouldn't have been there!). The decor was very beautiful, that yellow on the wall is almost what I have in my living room! no wonder I love it ! The one wall has these beautiful crosses - I don't think you can see it in my picture, but they have hearts, jesus faces, and other interesting symbols. The service was great, a young man who was very personable, friendly and gave good suggestions from the menu and specials. Then of course, the food. Annie had guacamole and chips, and a vegan burrito that was served cold, with side of rice and beans. I had a bowl of the most wonderful soup - first of all you know I love that butternut squash soup -well this was a bowl of half butternut soup, cool, and sweet and creamy - and the other half had a spicy hot black bean soup, with some crema drizzled across and some chopped up greens in the middle (parsley? mint? I don't remember darn it!) It was incredible the way the tastes mingled. delicious. Then I had the mexican mac n cheese, which had onions, peppers and was way cheesy but not like kraft....very good.
Of course we also had a pitcher (small) of margaritas - helped the conversation get started after all these years...
It was great, and I can't wait till we do it again.

Old friends are the best friends.

Blood and Bone Marrow Drives

I read in the newspaper that there was a blood drive and bone marrow registry drive at the Colonie Town Hall. I had been putting off donating blood for ages, since I can't stand the thought of the needle (yes, even though I recieved blood when I needed it) - but I sucked it up because of the bone marrow drive. There was a story in the TU about the man on whose behalf the drive was being held...it is terrible to know that only 1 in 30,000 people could be a match...It is a simple swab to the inside of the cheek. Couldn't be any easier, and who knows - I might be the one in 30,000 for somebody.

Ernie Williams

http://www.erniewilliams.com/

Saw Ernie play at the Valleycats game. If you look at his bio, you know how great it is that he is out playing nearly every night now -at age 82. Sometimes it takes a long time to realize your dreams...

Green Day at the TU

NOTE: this picture is from the timesunion website.

Green day put on a fantastic show at the TU center. It was one of the best shows I have ever seen, in terms of big energy, big enthusiasm and big NOISE! Billie Joe is amazing - he really worked very hard - it was a non stop show that went on longer than I ever expected, and kept everyone on their feet for the entire time.

The Bravery opened the show, this was the last show for them on the tour, and there was all kinds of mayhem going on on the stage, like people dressed in animal costumes, and toilet paper flying everywhere. It was very funny, entertaining and certainly distracting to the band! I think they only ended up doing 4 songs!

This was well worth the money for this ticket, and there are few people I feel that way about now....

Good Fortunes

For a long time I have had a fortune from a cookie taped to the corner of my desk: Success will not attack you. You must attack it.

Then yesterday I got this one: Success is on its way to you.

Does this mean I can stop attacking and just sit back and relax? Or is it giving me a warning so that I can ambush success when it gets here? Catch it when it's not looking? I'll let you know how it goes.....

Of course, I still have the best fortune (ever) hanging on the fridge: Your lover will never wish to leave.  Ok, so we all know how that turned out, but still...

Dutchess County Balloon Festival photos

I love balloons.

From netflix - Everything is Illuminated

This movie is so great. I have seen it before and had to see it again to know if it was still relevant to me, which it is. Quirky characters, good acting, and premium story. Greatest line:

I have reflected many times upon our rigid search. It has shown me that everything is illuminated in the light of the past. It is always along the side of us, on the inside, looking out. Like you say, inside out. Jonathan, in this way, I will always be along the side of your life. And you will always be along the side of mine.

How to be Lost by Amanda Eyre Ward

This was the June selection of the new ladies book club. If it wasn't for the book club, I never would have read this book. I thought the writing was TERRIBLE, the characters not developed at all, just surface people in a ridiculous story. I would not recommend this book to anyone, and I wonder who actually read it that made it a 'bestseller'. It was especially disappointing because I have been reading so many great books lately that I hate to waste my time reading crap.

Farmers' Markets

I love the farmers' markets. I have been so much more aware this year, and when the new one opened on Central Ave at the Linda, I made sure to get there. One week there was a guy with pea sprouts - ultra delish (I never even heard of them before) but haven't seen him since...still I make sure to go there every week - and then take a trip over to the Crossings. Two farms have vendors at both venues, but there are lots more things to try and some weeks one place has items that the other one doesn't. So far we've had lettuce, spinach, fresh baguettes, strawberries, raspberries, radishes, turnips (ewww) peas, fresh mozzarella, asparagus, cider donuts, green beans, tomatoes, cucumbers, zuchinni, summer squash, and the world's most delicious sticky buns from the Amish family.

birthday boot from Wolff's

I love Wolff's Biergarten. In addition to the great ambience of the place (picnic tables and peanut shells on the floor, hanging lights and a giant tree) and the wurst and schnitzel, they have rocking German bier. On your birthday, they give you this giant 2 Liter boot filled with delicious bier. Hmmm, it really was totally delicious, but....it may have killed my appetite to sample another beer till my next birthday... that was A LOT of bier, (but it also was a LOT of fun!)

From netflix - Garden State

This is another movie I just finally got around to seeing. Zach Braff was the writer/director/star of this film. Very introspective. Getting over the crap of the past and choosing to live.

"It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't even exist"

From netflix - Milk

OK, so I am totally late to see this movie. Finally watched it and was just totally blown away by how good it was. Sean Penn absolutely deserved that Oscar. What really struck me though was that it has been 30 years since Harvey Milk was killed, and yet the same human rights issues are still being fought. It was only last year that Prop. 8, which outlawed gay marriage, was voted on by the people AND PASSED. It is just ludicrous that "Anita Bryant" still lives on...

Little Children by Tom Perrotta

This book was the June Selection for the other book club - I found it very interesting, well written and thought the characters were fairly familiar. It is about people... families, parenting, relationships, marriage, and throw in a child molester to really shake things up. This book was made into a movie (but I never saw it). I do like the way Tom Perrotta writes, I think his characters are pretty true to life - I had previously read "The Abstinence Teacher" and liked that one as well.

From netflix - Rails and Ties

Rails and Ties was one of those dramas that was ok while you were watching it , but didn't challenge you in any way, or stick with you much once it was over. Completely forgettable except for one or two scenes...I didn't realize till after that this movie was the directorial debut of Alison Eastwood, Clint's daughter.

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

I read this for the May book club - and let me say that I loved this book. It is set in Germany during WWII, and upon starting the first chapter, I wondered if I really wanted to read this...but the more I read, the more I liked it...the characters were deep and beautiful, and the writing itself was wonderful and rich. It was a fantastic story of human relationships, of course a very serious and tragic story, but not depressing actually. This book has been on the NYT bestseller list, in the Young Adult category. I loved it, and although had an emotional meltdown of sobbing in the last chapters, did not feel sad at the end of the story. I recommend this book wholeheartedly.

From netflix - Catch and Release

This was a pretty enjoyable drama - Jennifer Garner plays the main character, whose fiance dies, (the wedding day turns into the day of his funeral)- and follows her struggle as she finds out that she didn't really know him as well as she thought. I only know Jennifer Garner from 13 going on 30, so I wasn't sure what to think but she was pretty good in this role. There is a scene where she is sitting in her wedding dress and thinking about life...Juliette Lewis was also really good in this movie. The one character I didn't like was Kevin Smith - he was like a cartoonish buffoon - was it written that way or should he just stay Silent?

My Life in Ruins

Saw this last week at the Spectrum with M. It was like "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" sort of, only "lite' style, and without the wedding... enjoyable enough, but completely forgettable. Nice to see Richard Dreyfuss in this film though, and I do like Nia Vardalos.

Whatever Works 7/3/09

This came out today, the new Woody Allen film with Larry David and Evan Rachel Wood. Saw it at the Spectrum with M and liked it a lot. Interesting perspective about the randomness of connecting and clicking, kind of like M and I. Coffee afterwards at the Ultraviolet.

From netflix - Waitress

I love this movie. I think it is so funny, sad, uplifting, heartbreaking, all in a little cute film. Here is the greatest line:


Dear Baby, I hope someday somebody wants to hold you for 20 minutes straight and that's all they do. They don't pull away. They don't look at your face. They don't try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold on tight, without an ounce of selfishness in it.

The first time I saw this movie, that part just made me sob. I guess I was feeling unloved that day.

The Standard

Had dinner here out with the girls the other night. I loved the throwback decor, it was just like being in the 'rec room'. The drink menu is great, lots of delicious drinks, I had a 'lemon drop'...the food was good too, I had the scallops and risotto.

http://standardalbany.com/

Overheard in line at Price Chopper

Today I popped into the Price Chopper on my break, to get something different for lunch. I got strawberries, lean cuisine panini and cherry vanilla yogurt. (That was a pretty big lunch!)

In front of me in line was a mailman. Behind me was an old guy. The old guy says " Is the service any better now that you got your money? Stamps at 44 cents. I hope they close the place down." The mailman says, "What did I do to you?" Old guy: "Nothing, but I wish they would shut the whole thing down. Email is free."

Then the old guy looked at me. I am in uniform today, a cookies and milk scrub top. He says "Where do you work? I am guessing in the healthcare field". I said "Why, so you can tell me my job stinks too? Forget about it".

What a crazy encounter.

Gilead by Marilynne Robinson

This was the May selection for the Church Ladies book club. It won the 2005 Pulitzer Prize, and is written in the style of a father's memoir to his young son. The father is elderly, a pastor, and the son is the product of a second marriage and is very young. It is a sort of rambling prose that tells the story, which takes time to tell due to the many rememberences that the man includes.

For me, it was hard to get through. I found myself skimming over the extra, and tried to just get the bones of the story, which was difficult. Lots of lovely reflections about life, religion, love...but I did keep thinking 'get to the story!'